


To be a kid again

by anightskyperson



Series: I'm sorry about the blood in your mouth (I wish it was mine) [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Adulthood, Blanket Fic, Crying, Depressed Peter Parker, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Men Crying, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Feels, Peter Parker Has Issues, Peter Parker Has a Bad Day, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Parker has PTSD, Peter Parker is a Mess, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, References to Depression, Star Wars References, Stressed Peter Parker, Teen Peter Parker, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Trauma, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21824794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anightskyperson/pseuds/anightskyperson
Summary: peter is stressed out of his mind. luckily, tony perseveres.
Series: I'm sorry about the blood in your mouth (I wish it was mine) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1707067
Comments: 6
Kudos: 113





	To be a kid again

**Author's Note:**

> there is so much projection going on that you could think this is a movie theatre.

„Sir, Peter just came home from school.”

  
The voice of the female A.I sounded through the lab, cutting off the deafening blast of ACDC.

  
Tony briefly looked up from the car motor he was working on.  
“Thanks, Fri.”

He went back to work, music on full volume again, and waited for Peter to come down to talk his ear off.

  
More than an hour went by- Tony had fixed the motor and stood up to wipe his hands on a rag DUM-E held for him.

  
Weird, he thought.

It was rare that the boy didn’t come down to the lab to talk to Tony after school, or at least complain about how hungry he was.

  
“Fri, are you sure Peter’s home?”  
“Yes, Sir. He is currently in his room.”

  
Tony went up the stairs, glass doors automatically closing behind him.  
“Is he okay? What are his stats?”

  
He never knew what to expect, especially while housing enhanced individuals.

  
“Peter shows no sign of physical injury or distress, Sir.”  
“Hm”, Tony frowned. Maybe he was just tired and went straight up to his room to take a nap?

  
Having arrived at Peter’s floor, Tony entered the code in the elevator and knocked on the teen’s door a few moments later.

  
“Hm?”, Peter said.

  
“Can I come in?”, Tony asked, waiting for a response.

  
“Yeah.”

  
When Tony opened the door, he could see Peter sitting at his desk, back to the door.

  
Papers and various binders were strewn all across the room; cups of soda, as well as multiple takeout- boxes, sat on the desk.

  
“Hey”, Tony said upon entering, “were you taking a nap or something?”

  
“Huh?”, came the response, “oh, no- I was just doing homework.”

  
Tony sat down on Peter’s bed, silently watching the teen work for a while.

  
Peter, really immersed into whatever he was currently calculating, sat at the desk in what seemed to be his pyjamas and an uncomfortable position- one foot on the chair, perched over his knee, scribbling away.

  
“Aren’t you gonna come down to the lab? I finally fixed the motor I was telling you about- really tricky stuff. I can show you how to do it, if you want?”

  
“’m not really up to it. Gotta finish this lab report.”

He shifted on his chair, looking up from his paper and at his desk in what seemed to be the first time in a while. 

  
“And everything else.” 

  
He sounded miserable.

  
“Okay”, Tony said, “but you`re gonna have to come down eventually, dinner`s in a few hours.

Don’t want you to be eating that greasy take- out all the time, alright?”

  
“Alright”, Peter replied as Tony stepped out of the room.

  
-

  
As promised, dinner was ready a few hours later.

  
Tony had hoped that Peter would in a better state by now- only to be surprised when Peter stepped  
out of the elevator.

“Jesus, kid. What happened to you?”, he joked, sitting down at the table.

  
Peter looked exactly how Tony felt after nights of not sleeping: He had ink stains both on hands and Shirt, and, by the look of his squinty eyes, was sporting a headache.

  
“Can we just… not do this right now?”

  
“What do you mean?”, Tony asked, confused.

  
“The whole, I don’t know- “, he gestured around the room,”- _talking_ thing?”

  
“You’re really tired, aren’t you?”

  
Peter shrugged as he sat down.

  
“You should’ve taken a nap. I mean, look at me: I don’t ever sleep- and I’m a disaster!  
I don’t want you to become one either. We’d give off a terrible family.”

  
With that, Peter’s face crumpled.

  
“Oh shoot, no- “ 

  
Peter stood up, shoving his chair across the floor in the process.

  
“Please kid, I didn’t- I didn’t think- “

  
“That’s the problem, isn’t it?”, Peter countered with a shaky voice, turning around to leave.

  
“Kid, _please_.”

  
Peter turned around.

  
The two of them looked at each other for a long moment.

  
Peter’s eyes were filled with tears, mouth in a thin line, trying to catch his breath.

  
Tony returned the look; silently pleading.

  
“Talk to me.”

  
Peter was quick to respond.

  
“I don’t want to.”

  
“Come on, kid”, Tony said, “it’s just you and me.”

  
Tears started to fall, and Peter turned away again.

  
“Kid, just _talk_ to me-”

  
“I don’t want you to- “, he cut himself off, taking a deep, strangled breath.

  
He turned around.

  
“I don’t- you don’t- “ 

  
Peter let out a pained noise, struggling to speak.

  
“God, I _hate_ this!”

  
With that, he walked out of the room, elevator doors closing behind him.

  
The silence was deafening.

  
Tony let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

  
_Shit._

  
How was he going to fix this?

  
-

  
Ten minutes later, after gathering his thoughts and putting leftovers away, Tony found himself in front of the teen’s room again.

  
Hesitantly, he knocked.

  
“No”, came the immediate answer from within.

  
The kid sounded like he was still crying.

  
“Jesus”, Tony uttered.

  
He cleared his throat.

  
“Can we talk?"

  
No response.

  
“Okay, kid.” A beat.

“I’ll be down in the living room- it’s movie night, remember? If you want to. I’ll be waiting.”

  
He waited a few moments, but eventually stepped away.

  
He would just have to give the kid his space and talk to him tomorrow- provided that Peter would be better by then. 

  
Lately, it had seemed as if the bad days lingered.

  
Feeling uneasy, Tony settled down in front of the TV, starting to select a movie.

  
Eventually, he just chose one at random, too wound up to pay attention to it anyway.

  
After what must have been the first third of the movie, the door opened, and Peter stepped in.

  
He looked worse than before, even at first glance- he was wearing a blanket, his hair was ruffled, and his eyes were still red and irritated from crying.

  
Tony tried not to look too worried.

  
“Hey, bud. You have an idea for what you wanna watch?”

  
The teen sat down next to Tony and thought for a second.

  
“Star Wars.”

  
“The sixth”, he added while laying his head on Tony’s shoulder.

  
“A wise choice you have made”, Tony approved, and Peter allowed himself a tiny smile.

  
-

  
The were about a quarter into the movie when Peter suddenly said: “I’m sorry. You know that, right?”

  
Tony paused the movie.

  
“I know, kiddo. If it helps, I am, too. I just wanted to help; you know?”

  
“Yeah”, Peter sighed.

  
“Do you wanna talk about it?”, Tony asked tentatively.

  
That made another round of tears well up in Peters eyes.

  
“I’m just- I think I’m in over my head. I don’t know.”

  
There was a long beat of silence while Tony let the boy think.

  
“It’s just, it feels like everything is happening at once, you know? It never stops.”

  
“Of course it does, kiddo; you’ll see.”

  
“I don’t know. Probably. But I feel like every time I can solve one problem, two new ones come at me, and I’m just so tired.”

  
“What’s this about, kid? School?”

  
“Everything. I mean, it’s school, but it's also everything else.”

  
He took a measured breath.

  
“I just- “, he swallowed and failed to keep tears at bay-, “I just want May back. It’s so much harder, I mean, _so_ much harder without her, I- “

  
“Shh.” Tony started cradling through Peter’s hair.

  
“It’s okay, kid. It’s gonna be alright.”

  
He hesitated. “I know; god, I _know_ how much you miss her. I know that you’re struggling. But buddy, you- someday, you’ll figure stuff out, okay?”

  
Peter nodded, tears streaming down his face.

  
“I’m sorry, bud, I don’t know what to say, but I know that you’ll be fine.”

  
Peter wiped at his eyes with bundled-up hoodie sleeves and moved his head to lay on Tony’s lap; a more comfortable position.

  
He looked so _tired_.

  
Worn out.

  
“Sometimes- “, he hesitated.

“Sometimes I just wanna be a kid again.”

  
Tony continued to play with Peters hair.

  
He went on. 

  
“You know, just not having to _think_ about anything. I want it back so badly.”

  
“But, kid- “, Tony started, “you still _are_ a kid!”

  
Peter smiled tiredly.

  
“I know, I know”, Tony quickly added, “I know what you mean.”

  
He hesitated.

  
“Somehow, I guess you’ll always miss it.”

  
“That sounds _terrible_ ”, croaked Peter.

  
“Well, welcome to adulthood, buddy”, Tony sighed.

  
“I guess, if I really think about it, I don’t feel like an adult like this”, said Peter.

  
After Tony’s questioning look, he gestured vaguely to the TV- screen.

  
“You know. Watching Star Wars and crying?”

  
Tony chuckled.

  
“Yeah, you’re right. It’s not very adult of you.”

  
“Then that’s good”, Peter smiled and sat up to lean his head on Tony’s shoulder again.

  
“Yeah it is, kid”, Tony said fondly, unpausing the movie.

  
“It sure is.”

**Author's Note:**

> that was a long one!  
> i hope the notion that may has passed away in this au/ version was received; maybe i'll make a series out of it? who knows.  
> also as i typed this down into word i almost entirely changed the first draft and it took me so long-  
> thanks for sticking around till the end.  
> :)


End file.
